Downcast, But Never In Despair

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, got ready for the day, and was driving to Caribou coffee at 6:15 with the goal to put the finishing touches on my upcoming lessons for the next few days. I knew I'd have limited prep time with my many meetings and agenda items ahead, and I wanted a quiet hour in the morning to complete them during the time I do my best work. The starry skies blinked their still visible constellations as I traveled my early route.

But I drove across town with a heavy heart, my mind linked, and yet at the same time, detached from the lessons I had to finish for my classes.

We just spent four weeks reading The Diary of Anne Frank. Year after year of teaching this nonfiction work of literature, there is always one student who says, "It isn't fair that Anne had to suffer because she was different. That's not kind." I spend weeks teaching tolerance. I spend weeks teaching my students that while it's okay to disagree, it is not okay to be unkind. We spend time researching how one person influenced millions to believe that some people were not fit to work, fit to live, and ultimately, these people were sent to die. 

Dancing with Dragonflies

"I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole — and yet — and yet — it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!" —from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Curiosity is a curious thing (see what I did there?). Defined as the desire to know or learn about anything; inquisitiveness, its etymology stems from Latin, Middle-English, and Anglo-French. Curiosity is part of biology and a quality that many species possess.

For today's post, I once again present a case study:

A Case Study, or Dancing with Dragonflies

During my time living on a farm, our cat had free reign over our expansive yard. He loved following my sister and I around on our escapades through the surrounding shelter belt of trees.

Perpetually Chipper

I get easily excited about things I love. I hum a lot. I have a tendency to be zealous about trying something new. I am a morning person and super chipper at 7:00AM. During my first year of teaching, I would greet my period 1 class enthusiastically to the point where one of my junior girls snidely remarked, "Ms. Edwardson, you are like the most cheerful person in the mornings. Ever. I have a hard time around happy people before 10:00AM. Just an observation." Thank you very much, student of mine. I will take that as a compliment, even if it wasn't intended as one.

I realize that not everyone is like me. Not everyone is perpetually chipper, and over the years, I've had people tell me that it grates on their nerves when I am "so positive about everything." Their words, not mine. Let me be clear when I say this:

I will not apologize for being my own person.

I am not perfect. I have days where I could give Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs a run for his money. I try really hard to turn my perspective around before the day is out, because nobody likes perpetually bitter people. I don't, anyway. I try really hard not to take my emotions out on others - they could be having a day that is worse than mine.